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October 17, 1995

Ruth, I am in a major dilemma. I have a very good girl friend and we are very close. I am interested in taking the friendship to a romantic level. I think she is interested. We always talked about sex when we were just friends, and we seem to have the same ideas.. The only thing I am worried about is that she is telling me what I want to hear and that she is jerking me around. I do not think that she would do that because she is such a nice person. I really love her and I also think she could be the woman I want to marry. Do you think, given our past history, that this girl could be jerking my chain?

"Jerking your chain?" What's that?

Leading him on. Setting him up. Playing him for a fool. Faking love and devotion, only using him for sex and money, only to betray him mercilessly for no reason other than that she's a typical two-faced, seductive coquette, like all women really are deep-down inside, according to the popular male belief system.

Jeez, are men paranoid or what???

Oh. Well, sir. How do I know you're not jerking her chain?

How do you know when you're in love? I've been seeing this woman for 6 months and recently we broke up. I thought I was fine with it, right up until the point that I discovered that I wasn't.

How do you know when you're in love? If you have to ask, you're not.

Nope, telling them I'm pregnant doesn't work. I tried it once and they just sat there saying, "Oh, come on. You haven't got a boyfriend, and you don't go out, so how can you be pregnant?" Any more ideas? Please, I really need help!!

Stop complaining. I don't even have parents. I was eternal.

I am an only child, too. And believe me, once you're an only child, you'll always be an only child. Unless they have more children.

The good news is your parents want to be good parents. It's their job. In fact, you're their only shot at it, so the more you demand your independence, the more necessary they see their protective function.

The best strategy is to compliment them on their success as parents. Praise them for the excellent job they've done with you. Once they start to feel satisfied that they've done their job, you can suggest it's time to retire.

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