The Punch Players: Ruth

That's me on the right, with my husband Marty.

I haven't broken anything in a while. My intestinal hernia has been acting up again, but I'm sure you're aware of that because you call me so often.

As if I didn't have enough to worry about, without Marty. I was hoping to retire last year, you know. After all these years, Marty still doesn't make enough as a plumber to support the two of us. He spent $10,000 on a roto-rooter machine. He said he was going to clean up in the drain-cleaning business. Very funny! I told him he should read the instruction manual before he went to a customer's house. But Marty made a wrong turn and the thing went up the kitchen sink and drilled a hole in their refrigerator.

Fortunately I enjoy my work. I am the makeover consultant at the department store in town, you know. It's a good feeling to know I've given so much good makeup advice to so many women. Not to brag, but I give them so much useful information, they never have to come back. I never see them again!