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June 16, 1995

Why don't people look on the inside before the outside? It makes it hard to find a decent boyfriend.

Very few people really see me on the inside, among them my dentist and my proctologist, and if you ask me, the fewer the better.

Is your first love your best love?

Oh definitely. My first love was... what was her name? Ellie or something. Well, come to think of it, she used to chew her hair... Wait a minute, was that Connie? No, Beverly was my first love, but she really hated my guts. What was the question?

Your first love is the most powerful! The stupifying, hallucinogenic effect of first love upon your unsuspecting psyche creates a more intense delusion of joy than you will ever feel again.

Which is good and bad, but as I said yesterday, I'm awfully dang glad to be over the worst of it.

When I'm in love, it's always the best one. (Sarah and I are now up to 500 e-mails! And I still haven't met her or talked to her on the phone. But she's so wonderful. She really understands me!)

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