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May 28, 1995

Don't you intensely dislike being called "Marty" instead of Martin? I know I do, and I'm pretty tolerant of just about anything else. Except licorice. Oh, and a former girlfriend of mine who was a slick con artist. And Botany, which I flunked in college because I couldn't identify bare twigs in winter. I mean, a twig is a twig! So anyway I guess there are a lot of things I can't stand but someone calling me "Marty" tops the list. It makes me go non-linear. How about you?

I'm a plumber. Someone calls me Martin, I pop him in the jaw!

Is there money in sucking string up your nose and spitting it out your mouth?

Here in America, the possibilities are endless.

Let me try!

That's so gross!

Is it true that big feet indicate other large appendages? And why should that matter?

Really? I never noticed. I'll have to... No, it doesn't matter.

What is true love?

True love is when it feels so good and makes no sense at all.

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