Archives

April, 1995

How can I overcome the impression that I am dull and boring?

Bob answers:

Dear Freddy,
Learn three jokes and wear a Hawaiian shirt. It works GREAT for me!

The can of Spam reads 'Ingredients: Pork and Ham, Salt, Water, Sugar, Sodium Nitrate'. What's the mystery jelly? Please help me.

This "ingredients" thing is a silly human idea. A banana is banana. A coconut is coconut. A tasty green slug is tasty green slug. Ask Alphonzo. He's a Spam kind of guy.

Ooni asks Alphonzo:

What's the mystery jelly in Spam?

I don't know, but it gets into my meatloaf. I think it comes from the refrigerator.

Next: May 3 - 10, 1995