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October 30, 1995

How do you mend a broken friendship? This girl and me had been friends for nine years, but then it fell apart because her sexist older brother tried to grope me while I was sleeping in her room at four in the morning! Now, we just can't talk anymore, and I feel that we are growing apart. I don't want to lose her as a friend just because her brother can't control his hormones. What can I do?

Is she angry with you for accusing her brother? If so, there's nothing you can do -- you were right not to allow that behavior. Or is she embarrased? In that case, reassure her that her brother's behavior doesn't prejudice your friendship with her.

My husband spends all his time on the computer and pays no attention to me. If it wasn't for this World Wide Web stuff, he might rake the lawn. Now he spends all his time talking to this over-achiever from Colorado. What's a woman to do? I tried the Saran Wrap trick. He said that it causes static build up and might blow out his CPU! I'd like to blow out his CPU! Help!

You people keep complaining about these computers! In my day, if the tribe found an evil object in their midst, they would burn it, bury it, or throw it into the sea. Take your husband to a witch doctor and see if the spell can be broken. If not, subject him to the same fate.

What Saran Wrap trick?

I just got married and I'm also eight months pregnant. My husband lost his job, our lights have been cut off, we're being evicted tomorrow, and we have no money. Add to that the fact that I'm trying to go to college, I have a two year-old daughter already and we are going to have to stay with his sister who uses us and asks us to pay two thirds of the rent, phone bill, and utility bill upon moving in. I feel so trapped. He's becoming moodier and my family is hundreds of miles away. What do you suggest that I do?

Write country/western songs.

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