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July 11, 1995

You seem to know your weather, so I have a meteorology question. Do you have any idea how they came up with wind chill factors? Did they throw people outside in the dead of winter and ask them how cold they felt, or what?

Well, the weather does fascinate me, but I don't know that much about meteors.

You're close, Gnat, and it just so happens I was one of those people! Me and two other guys, Tony and Rube. They would put us in this big freezer and leave us there until we started to turn blue. And they had these giant fans that blew 50 mph winds at us! We got 5 bucks an hour plus 10 bucks extra for each toe we lost. In those days, that was a lot of money!

Oh, Bradley, I didn't mean to hound you! It's just that, well, I've been a devoted fan of your column since May, and, well, if there's two things I love more than anything in the world it's computers and dogs. From the first time I saw your picture, well... but then I discovered you had a girlfriend named Sarah, and I thought, oh well, and I thought that was so brave of you to take a stand on that tree falling in the forest question! That's just what I always thought about it! But then the day in Calgary you considered getting a dog, and you gave up on Sarah, my gaze happened upon Sirius, the dog-star, which inspired me to write to see how serious you really were. Because I have eighteen dogs including seven new puppies! So you see I'm just all one big emotional mess and I'm afraid I'm making such a fool of myself, but here I am!

Gosh, that's very sweet of you to say. But are you sure it's not just puppy love?

Do you have a crush on Bradley?

What? Me? Ohhh... Bradley and I are good friends. Hey! This is an advice column! What are you asking questions like that for, anyway! Bradley, say something!

Why did she ask if you had a crush on me?

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